Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Romantic Atheism

I recently met an uber cute co-ed whose style fits my taste in men perfectly. Coincidently, his personality fits the below mentioned traits that I should flee from- not to. From the start, Caleb was slightly off kilter, but I found him endearing.

Things were going well for a month and a half until he explained his relationship religion.

While making plans for an upcoming weekend, Caleb tells me, “I’m not the lovey dovey kind.”

Oh, great. I have heard this before.. “I get it, no need to say anything more,” I say, hoping he’ll drop it and we can both go our separate ways.

Retard- I mean, I’m not a dick. I don’t like one night stands. It’s just that when most guys see a girl, they think about sleeping with her, then possibly dating her. But me, I don’t think about dating her.”

Me- Great, so you’re a typical guy? Perfect.

Retard- No. I mean, if I meet a girl out at the club I want, I take her home. But then after, I like to get her email, number, or bbm and talk to her. You know, get to know her. Build a friendship based on honesty, where both parties know what is going on. And the friendship is based on genuine interest in the other person. I want the girl to want to be friends because we get along, not because she feels used and it will make her feel less guilty.

Me- What if you take a girl home and she turns out to be a moron and/or complete psycho? Do you still want to be “genuine friends” with this person?

Retard- I mean yes. Unless the girl is threatening or violent, I’ll talk to her. I told you, I want all women, and then I want to be friends.

Me- That has to be exhausting, you must spend a lot of time on the phone. What kind of romantic atheism have you resorted to?

Where do I find these people?! (Note to self- stop doing whatever it is you're doing)