Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Why Are All the Pretty Ones Crazy?

Dean: In my experience, the prettier a girl is, the more nuts she is, which makes you insane.
Cindy: I like how you can compliment and insult somebody at the same time, in equal measure. ~Blue Valentine

Boy meets girl. Attractive girl appears to be shy, quiet and sane. Boy falls for girl. Girl and Boy become in a relationship. Girl keys boy's car for seemingly no reason at all. Boy calls girl crazy and still continues to date her. Girl and Boy break up and she is forever called crazy.

While discussing and dissecting women with a good male friend of mine, he referred to a potential prospect as attractive yet crazy. At that point in the conversation it dawned on me, most of his past lovers fall under that same category. Unfortunately, myself included. But why is that? Why does it seem that all the pretty ones are crazy? Or moreover, why do a lot of the pretty girls act crazy?

Generally speaking, most women I know have been called crazy at some point or another, warranted or not . And for the most part, this will make even a sane woman act insane. So for argument's sake, I am leaving those women out of this conversation and just discussing the tried and true crazy. Beautiful women who will publically flip out, key your car and stick their foot through your flat screen.

After some observation and discussion, I have only come up with two possible reasons that attractive women act this way, when they could so easily get more men if they didn't.

1. Because they can. It’s plain and simple. Pretty girls act crazy because they can. Because regardless of whether or not one man is going to be turned off by it and create a bad reputation for the girl in question, other men will still willingly date the crazy girl.

Why would someone want to act that way you ask? But I don't think it’s a question of why women want to act this way, but more so, why do they act this way.

With the exception of the ugly duckling transformed into swan after high school and the discovery of skin products and a flat iron, most attractive women have been attractive since puberty. Some even since birth. As such, these same women have been getting attention from most men since the ripe age of 13. Consequently, these attractive females have felt entitled, desired and in control since 13.

Age 13: Homework not done? Go to the biggest geek in the classroom and ask to copy his, he'll let you.

Age 15: Can't get your mom to drive you to the movies? Ask an upperclassman with a car to drive 45 minutes out of his way to pick you up.

Age 17: Speeding ticket? Flirt while showing a little shoulder to the cop and he's sure to let you off with a warning.

Age 19: Missed an English assignment in ENG 101? Talk to the male grad student instructor after class and he'll be sure to help you work something out.

Age 23: Late on a deadline at work? Talk to your male boss and he won't even act mildly disappointed.

And so goes the burden of beauty. How does being a con artist make a woman crazy you ask? Because they have been getting their way with men since birth. As soon as boy says no, or does something that girl does not like, she's going to lose her marbles. After years of never being told no, the woman in question does not know how to handle rejection. This is not how it works! She may think.

Does this make it right? Of course not. Is this justification for publically embarrassing you at dinner? Absolutely not. But you'll continue putting up with her crazy until you realize the lack of sanity trumps her beauty.

2. Which brings me to reason number two pretty girls act crazy. Men dating attractive women sometimes turn her insane for a variety of reasons. A good girlfriend of mine recently brought up a good point. When a couple is walking down the street and other men acknowledge that women's beauty, the man is proud and insecure at once. While this is more of a generalization from my personal experience, I'll say it, because what the hell, it's my blog. Men try to control attractive women more often than they do unattractive women.

Some men are so intimidated by an attractive woman, even if she's theirs, that they will be overly protective and or act out to prove they are the one to be desired. Men may or may not talk down to girl to prove their masculinity. They may or may not cheat which can drive any beautiful sane girl crazy. I found you in my bed with another woman, so I put my foot through your new flat screen? To me, that's not crazy, that's deserved. But I can see how the label develops.

While most pretty girls inevitably get their act together and realize that A) Life is not always going to go your way regardless of how perky your boobs are and B) Controlling cheating men don't deserve to see your self destruction; some attractive women never grow out of this. She's the girlfriend who gets jealous of her boyfriend's female co-worker, the wife who publically fights with her husband and the women who claim to not be crazy but spend their time obsessing over other used-to be crazy pretty girls.

So what does all this mean? Who knows? Just some observations from one used to be crazy girl. Men will continue to date the crazy pretty ones. Men will continue to call them crazy. But sometimes, the crazy pretty girl will grow up and realize none of it matters.