Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Lion, the Bit*h and the Baby?


Recently, I have been asked by friends and family, “what now?” While that answer remains limitlessly complicated in terms of my growing family, thankfully those asking are usually referring to my blog content or lack thereof these days.

I briefly considered the idea of writing a maternity blog- as suggested by some. However, I recognize that might be boring for the majority of my readers, with the exception of my family and the few expectant mothers I know my age. Secondly and more relevantly, what the fuck do I know about being a mother? I’m a first timer and my precious love child has not yet arrived. Hell, I’ve never even babysat or changed a diaper! But fear not for my child – my mother said parenting will come naturally when the baby arrives.

Others have suggested I write about sex and relationships of an expectant mother. But, not only would that be too personal for me to write about, it would be offensive and a bit gross- a 34F chest size is sloppy, not sexy. I’m well aware of the fact that no one wants to hear about what it is like to be pregnant and horny/happy/moody/mopey/gasey etc. I will let you experience the joys of pregnancy for yourselves when the time comes.

Lastly, another friend mentioned that I should probably take a brief hiatus from the sex blog while pregnant, as such that it’s taboo and my tone and general attitude have changed. He explained that my honest and sarcastic outlook on life was what he liked most about my blog. At first, I agreed with him and decided to focus on my first passion, short story fiction writing, until I was no longer growing another human being in my belly. In a way my friend was right, my personal feelings on life and love have changed. But as I told my grandmother when she asked if my stilettos were too high to wear while pregnant, I responded, “just because I’m pregnant, doesn’t mean I’m not still me.”

So while I have simultaneously been knocked off my feet in love and knocked up, I still believe that most men and women are idiots. I still observe sleaze ball men in my day to day life. I still have to listen to women who love and/or complain about those men. I still get offensively hit on, and I still have highly entertaining friends in and out of relationships that I get to watch and listen to with love and disgust.

So I’m going to continue blogging. Thank god for my friends whose sex and love lives give me endless content (I hope that’s alright). And with the exception of Myths Of Pregnancy that I have discovered and deem appropriate to inform readers of so they are not caught off guard as I was, I promise to keep the baby talk to a minimum. Now back to sex, love and relationships... LOOK LITTLE BABE- MOM WAS COOOl!