Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Self Obsessed Self Portraits

There has been a lull in my blog posts recently due to many factors. First and foremost October was a month preoccupied with my birthday, baby shower, engagement and wedding plans. All of which leave little time for idle hands. However, I blame the lull in postings mainly on my lack of content. I am no longer going out, perusing men and observing the drunken sights of comedy produced by men and women dragging themselves along Carson Street in a stupor. I no longer endure awful dates for the sole purpose of sharing them with the world the following day. The days of asking myself “are you seriously going to date him just because he’s cute and ignore the fact that he’s a womanizer?” are long gone. So while I continue to produce short works of fiction and pursue my writing aspirations via other venues, I have writer’s block when it comes to this blog and what was once such a great creative and personal outlet for me and my frustrations with dating in today’s society. As such, I have outsourced my problem and have been presented with several post-worthy blog topics.

Most noteably, a friend of mine voiced his frustrations regarding today’s “women” and their self portraits. I use the term women loosely and in quotes as such that I don’t believe calling the women I am referring to narcissistic floozies to be appropriate. Ladies, if you are in your mid twenties or above and taking self portraits of yourself in mirrors or reverse camera phone, I am thinking narcissist floozy in my head. Furthermore, I fully recommend getting your head out of your own ass and immediately checking yourself in with reality.

While I will admit with the advent of facebook and my discovery of bars and all that goes with the stereotypical coming of age college student trends, I undoubtedly committed this same offense at one time or another. But that was then and this is now.

I do not know how or why a rational twenty something woman would ever want to put herself out there for this sort of critique. Why are you doing this? STOP. You look silly! I understand that everyone wants that perfect default profile pic, but taking a picture of yourself at work in the bathroom mirror or all slobbed up while out on a Saturday night with a stall behind you in plain sight is taking things a bit too far. Taking a photo of your growing belly in a mirror? Ok. Taking a photo of your growing cleavage and diminishing hemline? Not ok.

I have to ask three important questions. First, do girls think these pictures make them look good? If the answer is in the affirmative, what leads one to believe that? Your low cut blouse, your perfect pout or the bathroom attendant at the right hand side of the photo gawking at you? Second, do you think others find this attractive? (i.e. will men see your updated profile picture and drop pant at their computer desk?) I already know the answer to the latter is no. This desperate sort of self promotion, exaggerated by such captions as, “OMG, no makeup!” is irritating, awkward and gives me severe second hand embarrassment. And I am sure I am not alone in my response. Any idiot knows that one would not post an unflattering photo of themselves online for the world to see. Please don’t assume your facebook friends are stupid, that too is offensive. Lastly, do you believe yourself to be a model? If yes, please immediately stop reading this and grab the closest Merriam Webster dictionary. Shockingly, next to the word model, there is a not a self portrait of you. But the definition of someone who gets paid to have others photograph them. Not someone who is paid with compliments by frenemies.

So if not for others, since others are clearly not appreciative of your photography skills and photoshopping abilities, who is this for? If you look good in plain sight, I am positive you will look good without the glare of a mirror. Stop being so self obsessed and wait to be tagged in a photo you look good in like the rest of us do. Don't stage a "candid" photo in the mirror. There is no such thing!

"What then?" you ask. Nothing. Just a gripe I have with society, hoping that one of these women will read this blog and put their camera phone down.